In some ways, The
Autistic Me blog can be traced to my journals and various
writings dating back to at least 1982. Most of us struggle
to understand ourselves, our natures, and I think artists
are particularly driven to undertake such explorations. Often,
such pursuits are narcissistic; I certainly dread the “angst”
of teen poets for that reason. But there are times when the
drive to understand yourself can help others. There are moments
when we can become role models for others or, more frequently,
models of what not to do. I’m the typical mix of both...
more failures than successes, but persistent nonetheless.
Pursuing the Autistic Me
I will answer the most obvious question first: I have been
officially diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with
elements of classical autism. Elsewhere on this Web site I
will deal with the controversial distinctions among diagnoses
of autism, high-functioning autism, and Asperger’s Syndrome.
Honestly, I do not think of myself as autistic. I tend to
view myself as “hypersensitive” to stimulation, blunt, honest,
and a long list of other things... but not autistic. The label
is merely a qualitative judgment rendered by a clinical neuropsychiatrist.
If the label helps educate teachers, parents, and students,
then it is useful.
Writing to Understand
Above all else, I consider myself a writer. I would list that
before any other trait, skill, or profession, but for the purposes
of this Web site I am compromising for efficacy.
I am writing an autoethnography (a fancy academic way of saying
“autobiography”) dealing specifically with my experiences as
a student and teacher. The work is researched extensively with
footnotes throughout. I hope to have the manuscript completed
and revised by the end of 2008. Writing a first draft wasn’t
a problem: considering it “finished enough” will prove difficult.
It is much easier to write magazine columns or even theatrical
scripts than it is to delve into one’s own life in an academic
manner. At least I am finding a lot of humor in the stories.
Researcher & Teacher
I am currently a doctoral student and instructor at the University
of Minnesota. The university has been generous with research
funding, fellowship time, and additional resources, giving
me the ability to pursue topics related to autism. The subject
of autism is extremely difficult to approach without offending
one group or another. The university has allowed me a lot of
freedom to risk such offenses.
As one colleague observed, being me since the 1960s gives
me a unique perspective on the research. The challenge is to
admit and restrain purely activist impulses.
You might not agree with my research or my conclusions, but
I hope that it stimulates further research. My hope is that
we provide the best educational experiences possible to all
students, including those with autism spectrum disorders.