Last updated on November 26, 2023
There are times when I’m playing solitaire on my phone or computer and realize there has been a good move available for at least several draws from the deck. These moments frustrate me, as I have to admit to not seeing what is suddenly so obvious. Move the cards, open a row, clear the hand.
Like any compulsive person, I read the statistics, too. I know that each wasted opportunity counts as extra moves, lost time, and some points. Penalties for not paying attention add up, while I’m trying to reduce my average win time, the move counts, and raise the deal points.
Life feels like solitaire.
It’s a mix of skill and luck. You need to know enough to win the good hands, yet you also have to accept that some hands are impossible because the card you need might be under the card that would go onto the hidden card. It’s most annoying when you can infer the hidden cards.
Hard work matters a lot. Attention to detail counts. But, there’s always that bit of luck you need for a good, fast hand with aces exposed and kings at the tops of the rows.
This metaphorical experience reveals to me how real some metaphors are, too. The figurative language of a “bad hand” makes a lot more sense if you spend hours playing card games.
I’ve been editing video and audio projects, working on some websites, and trying to keep my skills sharp. What I realize is that I’m not bad at these tasks, which are technical in nature and require attention to details.
Time and time again I second guess past educational and career choices. Had I studied film and/or broadcast journalism as an undergraduate instead of 30 years later, I might have developed skills with a more promising career path. Had I remained focused on technology, I would have had a more promising career path, too.
I had the cards — the skills and the interest — to be a technology geek within film or media. I had hoped to use technology while teaching high school photography and journalism. That was my plan in college: to teach high school and incorporate technology into my media courses. It wasn’t a bad plan, actually, but I played the hand badly. I overlooked good moves and made some poor choices.
My plan is to get back on track, in some way, all the way back to that original goal of teaching about media using technology. The path would use my computer skills, my interest in narrative writing, and my passion for teaching.
Yet, my ability to “win” the hand comes down to luck and some matters beyond my control. Hiring committees. Department chairs. Deans. The other candidates, too.
You must be prepared and understand the game. At the same time, you have no control over how the cards are shuffled and dealt.
As someone who constantly blames myself for not having more success, it is difficult to accept that I cannot control everything. I am desperate to be so sharp, so careful, that the odds improve in my favor. There are professional poker players because for all the randomness of the cards, skill still plays a significant role in winning the game.
I’m trying to make all the moves that should have been made some time ago, hoping there’s still a chance at a good career.