When I went off to graduate school in 2004, it was because I couldn\u2019t stop chasing the dream of teaching. After the master\u2019s degree, I chased the doctorate, trying to improve my chances at that elusive higher-education job. And then, the master of fine arts in 2017, capping a 13-year chase that cost a lot of time and money but did not lead to a tenured post as a professor anywhere.<\/p>\n
I love writing and technology, and I always wanted to combine those in some way. That\u2019s why I ended up attending the Computers & Writing conferences and published papers in their proceedings.<\/p>\n
There was one job that was tenure-track, but it ended badly \u2014 as most of my jobs do. (Bully magnet, I end up with some aggressive, pushy supervisors who then discard me after I work on projects.) Another had some potential to last for many years as an adjunct, that \u201calmost-but-not-quite\u201d status so many occupy in higher education. The last teaching post, as a full-time lecturer, might have been a good job \u2014 it was, really \u2013 but I didn\u2019t realize it was okay\u2026 and I didn\u2019t want to teach English Composition for years.<\/p>\n
Recognizing I wanted a full-time job with benefits and more, I decided to leave post-secondary education and try a return to K12. There is a need and the pay is about the same as lecturing. Plus, there are benefits like state retirement plans.<\/p>\n
But, I\u2019m not happy in the K12 world of state standards, rigid lesson plans, and political turmoil. Miserable and depressed might be the two best adjectives. Imagine 29 students, 21 chairs, 18 working computers, none with the software for which we have textbooks. Of those 29 students, half meet the prerequisite skills for the course. That\u2019s teaching in public schools. That\u2019s the challenge teachers face.<\/p>\n
Now what?<\/p>\n
We are not moving ever again. I\u2019m not completing any more credentials or certifications.<\/p>\n
I belong in education. I belong in a classroom with engaged students discussing writing, technology, design, and rhetorical concepts. I know where I want to be, and I never figured out how to be there.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t misunderstand. I\u2019d love to teach about technology to young people interested in the topic. I\u2019d love to share my passions with anyone, of any age. But that\u2019s not how students are enrolled in courses.<\/p>\n
Having students tell you, bluntly, they don\u2019t want to learn about programming, web design, or anything else you might teach, is demoralizing. The profanity and walking out of the room\u2026 those are bonus insults.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m so exhausted and demoralized that I have no clear sense of direction.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not teaching students against their will next year. That\u2019s not something I enjoy.<\/p>\n
Do I love my content area or teaching? They go together! I want to teach about technology and communication.<\/p>\n
The university teaching post I don\u2019t have remains what I want and what I know I can do. Chasing that dream might have been pointless, but I cannot seem to let it go.<\/p>\n
What did the universities want? A generalist? A narrowly-focused specialist? I don\u2019t perseverate on one topic. I don\u2019t have a laser-like focus on one niche topic. I love learning everything and anything.<\/p>\n
I love writing scripts. I love computers. I am passionate about design and typography. I\u2019m all over the place, and nowhere.<\/p>\n
Now, I\u2019m 50-years-old (almost 51) and adrift after all these years. I had a plan. I wanted that plan to become reality. I\u2019d teach, I\u2019d write, and I\u2019d enjoy my creative hobbies.<\/p>\n
I swore I wouldn\u2019t adjunct again. I told myself I\u2019d only teach full-time and with some promise of a better future.<\/p>\n
It turns out, any university post is better than none at all.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When I went off to graduate school in 2004, it was because I couldn\u2019t stop chasing the dream of teaching. After the master\u2019s degree, I chased the doctorate, trying to improve my chances at that elusive higher-education job. And then, the master of fine arts in 2017, capping a 13-year…<\/p>\n