People are uncomfortable around me. I know that since I was in kindergarten or first grade. Research suggesting people form impressions of autistics within half a second doesn\u2019t surprise me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to prepare a podcast on this topic, because I\u2019m realizing the pandemic has somewhat freed me from trying to deal with people too often. In 2018, I posted my thoughts on the research,\u00a0Autistics Make Others Uncomfortable, Instantly<\/a>. I am conflicted by the pandemic experience and my overall mental health improvement not having to face the anxiety I cause other people.<\/p>\n When I teach public speaking or business communication courses, I present research to students on how quickly first impressions occur. Within a half second, 500 milliseconds, we evaluate another person. Strangers shown a photo of an office or dorm make inferences surprisingly well<\/a> (2002). Humans are fast to judge, probably an evolutionary advantage. Pop psychology aside, autistics often \u201cfail\u201d these quick judgements.<\/p>\n Autistics aren\u2019t \u201ceasy to read\u201d for other people. Any number of theories have tried to explain why this is. I\u2019m not sure the explanations matter. The simple truth is, the social signals we transmit are decoded quite differently by others.<\/p>\n We make negative first impressions and those impressions matter to success.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been told I seem \u201cfake\u201d when I\u2019m actually saying and expressing exactly what I\u2019m thinking and feeling. I\u2019ve been told I need to smile more. I\u2019m too intense. Too passionate. Too serious. My tone is angry. I\u2019m unhappy. The list of negative adjectives is lengthy.<\/p>\n Of course, being told not be so angry, so on edge, so intense\u2026 I end up trying to explain that I\u2019m fine. I\u2019m not angry. I\u2019m not unhappy. But, the perceptions of others eventually lead me to realize I\u2019m isolated. The end result is that I start to avoid people.<\/p>\n Teaching online and freelancing from home turn out to be ideal working environments.<\/p>\n If I could stay home and only interact with people via email and text messages, that might help my professional development. I\u2019ve wondered if I\u2019d have a career, if not for my lack of social skills.<\/p>\n The anxiety I cause others will be a podcast topic in a few weeks. I know I\u2019m not the only autistic painfully aware that other people cannot wait to have me exit a room, or they cannot wait to leave.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" People are uncomfortable around me. I know that since I was in kindergarten or first grade. Research suggesting people form impressions of autistics within half a second doesn\u2019t surprise me. I\u2019m going to prepare a podcast on this topic, because I\u2019m realizing the pandemic has somewhat freed me from trying…<\/p>\n