{"id":1663,"date":"2020-10-27T20:35:03","date_gmt":"2020-10-28T01:35:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/wordpress\/autisticme\/?p=1663"},"modified":"2023-11-26T16:28:03","modified_gmt":"2023-11-26T22:28:03","slug":"podcast-episode-045-home-for-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2020\/10\/27\/podcast-episode-045-home-for-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast Episode 045 &#8211; Home for the Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Podcast 045; Season 4, Episode 9; October 27, 2020<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Halloween will be spent at home with\u00a0our daughters. Thanksgiving, too. And Christmas. The holidays join birthdays\u00a0and anniversaries as events we spend at home. Every year I post to The Autistic\u00a0Me blog some thoughts on the holidays. I\u2019ve also recorded a couple of podcasts\u00a0about surviving the chaos of holidays. With the COVID-19 pandemic, this winter\u00a0holiday season isn\u2019t like what I\u2019ve blogged or spoken about in past years.<\/p>\n\n<!-- iframe plugin v.6.0 wordpress.org\/plugins\/iframe\/ -->\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" 0 1=\"\/&gt;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/16576094\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/336699\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\" 2=\"allowfullscreen\" 3=\"webkitallowfullscreen\" 4=\"mozallowfullscreen\" 5 6=\"\/&gt;\" 7=\"msallowfullscreen\" class=\"iframe-class\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\n\n<h3><b>Home for the Holidays<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>Welcome to <b><i>The Autistic Me\u00a0Podcast<\/i><\/b>. I am Christopher Scott Wyatt, speaking as The Autistic Me.<\/p>\n<p>From Halloween through New Year\u2019s\u00a0Day, the fall and winter holiday season presents challenges for autistics. With\u00a0neurodiversity comes sensory processing issues, social skills deficits, and\u00a0much more. From the flashing lights to the chaotic family gatherings, the\u00a0holidays present one difficulty after another.<\/p>\n<p>This season is going to be\u00a0different. The novel coronavirus pandemic means we have a good reason to stay\u00a0home. COVID-19 forced the cancellation of craft fairs, carnivals, parades, and\u00a0concerts.<\/p>\n<p>I took the girls to several small\u00a0carnivals last year. As a family, we went to the Christmas light show at the\u00a0San Antonio Zoo. We drove up to Dallas for the Arboretum Pumpkin Patch, too.\u00a0The girls were also part of the local Christmas parade. We didn\u2019t make it to\u00a0the Nutcracker here in Texas, but I had hoped to take both girls to a\u00a0performance this year.<\/p>\n<p>It was a lot for me to endure, and\u00a0my wife would be content at home, but we do want the girls to have great\u00a0memories of the holidays.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not going to miss crowds, noise,\u00a0smells, lights, and other inputs.<\/p>\n<p>I am going to miss seeing the girls\u00a0enjoy the fall and winter events.<\/p>\n<p>But, along with their excitement and\u00a0joy, there were the inevitable meltdowns caused by exhaustion and overload.<\/p>\n<p>The youngest struggles with sensory\u00a0input, especially lights and sounds. She also doesn\u2019t feel safe in crowds. Holiday\u00a0events are as difficult for her as they are for me. She\u2019s too young to\u00a0recognize some of her limits, too, so she\u2019ll insist on wanting to do something\u00a0that will be overwhelming.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sure there will still be light\u00a0displays to drive past and decorated houses for the holidays. We will do what\u00a0we can to be fun and festive while social distancing.<\/p>\n<p>Our first efforts at holiday fun\u00a0weren\u2019t much fun, though.<\/p>\n<p>Monday night, I tried to carve a\u00a0pumpkin into a jack-o-lantern for the girls. It did not go well. I ended up\u00a0resorting to an electric drill after various knives didn\u2019t work. It was not a\u00a0fun activity. I managed to carve one of the two pumpkins and then called it\u00a0quits. The process was stressful and messy.<\/p>\n<p>Cartoons and books show parents and\u00a0children enjoying the process of carving pumpkins. No. It\u2019s one sensory\u00a0overload after another. It\u2019s disgusting. But, I did it while silently screaming\u00a0to myself. I don\u2019t want to repeat the process next year. Not happening.<\/p>\n<p>The resulting jack-o-lantern is not\u00a0a work of art.<\/p>\n<p>When the girls are older, maybe they\u00a0can try to carve their own pumpkins.<\/p>\n<p>Now I remember why we had a plastic\u00a0jack-o-lantern with an LED light inside. It probably didn\u2019t move with us. I\u00a0wish it had.<\/p>\n<p>The girls want decorations for the\u00a0holidays. They want pumpkins and ghosts and witches. They see the neighborhood\u00a0homes decorated and wonder why we haven\u2019t put out skeletons and gravestones.\u00a0The houses with purple and orange lights impress the girls.<\/p>\n<p>Halloween has never been my favorite\u00a0holiday. I\u2019m not sure if I enjoyed it as a child. I cannot recall any of my\u00a0costumes or anything special about Trick-or-Treating. Friends seem to remember\u00a0much more than I do. They have photographs of creative costumes and family\u00a0gatherings, which are shared on social media.<\/p>\n<p>I have snippets of memories, but they\u00a0are disjointed and not of any one time or place. I believe there was a\u00a0Halloween party at one of the mobile home parks, in the community center. I\u00a0believe there was some bubble wrap on the floor in a dark hallway. Maybe there\u00a0was apple bobbing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat are we going to dress up as?\u201d\u00a0the girls have been asking.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy?\u201d was my response. \u201cWe\u2019re not\u00a0going anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have to dress up! It\u2019s\u00a0Halloween!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If my wife has dressed up for her\u00a0company costume contest, I don\u2019t remember it. I don\u2019t believe we have ever\u00a0dressed up in costumes as adults. I didn\u2019t do anything in college, either. I\u00a0probably volunteered to work Halloween night.<\/p>\n<p>The girls can play dress-up, I\u00a0suppose, but we\u2019re not going to buy anything special for costumes this year.\u00a0Last year, they were cowgirls. The theory was that jeans and boots are useful\u00a0long after Halloween, especially in Texas.<\/p>\n<p>We are going to have our own little\u00a0Halloween Party on Saturday.<\/p>\n<p>We have toasted the pumpkin seeds\u00a0and I plan to bake \u201clow-carb\u201d pumpkin bars for Halloween. There will be a\u00a0Monster Egg hunt, too, with trinkets in the eggs instead of candies.<\/p>\n<p>For Thanksgiving, we\u2019ll do a small roasted\u00a0turkey breast dinner. Just the four of us, as it has been for the last few\u00a0years. It\u2019s a quiet day of family movies. We\u2019ve never done much around\u00a0Thanksgiving because we live away from family.<\/p>\n<p>This year, I hope most people stay\u00a0home and avoid potentially dangerous gatherings. I\u2019m worried that people will\u00a0drive to visit their families and the COVID-19 lockdowns will return, with even\u00a0stricture rules to stop the virus.<\/p>\n<p>We have no big plans for Christmas\u00a0or New Years. Our artificial tree and the trainsets will be brought inside from\u00a0the garage for the girls to enjoy. We\u2019ll bake a little, but not as much as in\u00a0the past. There won\u2019t be a lot of toys under the tree, because the girls don\u2019t\u00a0need more things. We\u2019re encouraging them to ask for art supplies, crafts, and\u00a0activities that encourage creativity.<\/p>\n<p>Normally, I warn parents about the\u00a0chaos and commotion of holidays, but everyone has been asked repeatedly to stay\u00a0home and stay socially distanced.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m actually relieved because I\u00a0don\u2019t have to force myself to drive anywhere. Neither my wife nor I will be\u00a0flying with the girls to another state. We\u2019re staying home, keeping things\u00a0simple, quiet, and affordable.<\/p>\n<p>This is how the holidays should be.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t want to be in airports or on\u00a0the freeways. I don\u2019t want to be in crowded spaces with loud music and flashing\u00a0lights. I certainly won\u2019t be missing Christmas shopping in stores and malls.<\/p>\n<p>The girls will miss some of those\u00a0things, or at least claim to miss them. But, they never really enjoyed long\u00a0drives. They struggled in airports. The little one gets agitated by flashing\u00a0lights and sounds. They want the things that cause them stress.<\/p>\n<p>Now, we get to avoid the meltdowns\u00a0that accompanied travel and activities.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not sure there will be a return\u00a0to normal in a year or two. Maybe next holiday season will begin with\u00a0traditional Trick-or-Treating. Maybe there will be carnivals and concerts.<\/p>\n<p>Even if the experts tell us normal\u00a0is okay next year, I\u2019ll probably be too anxious to trust going out and about in\u00a0crowds. My wife and I might make this year\u2019s experiences our new normal.<\/p>\n<p>As an autistic parent, I hope I can\u00a0teach my children that avoiding the sensory overload of the holidays is okay.\u00a0It is okay to want quiet spaces and relaxing family nights together.<\/p>\n<p>Pumpkin carving aside, I do believe\u00a0we\u2019ll have a good holiday season at home.<\/p>\n<p>I am Christopher Scott Wyatt,\u00a0speaking as <em><strong>The Autistic Me<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for listening.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Blog: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/\">https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Facebook: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/autisticme\/\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/autisticme\/<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Twitter: <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/autisticme\">https:\/\/twitter.com\/autisticme<\/a><\/li>\n<li>YouTube: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/CSWyatt\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/CSWyatt<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/autisticme.libsyn.com\/\">https:\/\/autisticme.libsyn.com\/<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Podcast 045; Season 4, Episode 9; October 27, 2020 Halloween will be spent at home with\u00a0our daughters. Thanksgiving, too. And Christmas. The holidays join birthdays\u00a0and anniversaries as events we spend at home. Every year I post to The Autistic\u00a0Me blog some thoughts on the holidays. I\u2019ve also recorded a couple&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2020\/10\/27\/podcast-episode-045-home-for-the-holidays\/\">Continue Reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Podcast Episode 045 &#8211; Home for the Holidays<\/span> <i class=\"fas fa-angle-right\"><\/i><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":3458,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"iawp_total_views":12,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10,11],"tags":[45,145,233,333,349,554,709,729],"class_list":["post-1663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","category-relationships","tag-airports","tag-christmas","tag-driving","tag-halloween","tag-holidays","tag-podcast","tag-thanksgiving","tag-travel","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2023\/11\/Podcast_Banner_800x400.png?fit=711%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pfivLC-qP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1663"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3594,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663\/revisions\/3594"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3458"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}