The 2019-20 school year has never ended. It goes on and on for our family and for many others.<\/p>\n
This isn\u2019t because we\u2019re all cruel parents or guardians. Quite the opposite. We maintain the sameness day after day because a predictable schedule helps provide emotional security to some people \u2014 particularly children who have endured trauma.<\/p>\n
After our daughters came home from school on March 13, 2020, we transitioned to the school year that never ended. Pandemic parenting began. It\u2019s been one continuous academic experience in our household through two summer breaks and various holidays. We have taken few \u201cdays off\u201d from the routine.<\/p>\n
The sameness was not a punishment. On days off from school, our girls play school with their toys. They read to their stuffed animals.<\/p>\n
What some friends don\u2019t realize is that Neurodiverse people often prefer routines.<\/strong><\/p>\n I used to believe the girls wanted to join groups, play sports, and travel to see new sights. They do like to go on short adventures with Daddy if I prepare them for the day ahead.<\/p>\n However, they are calmer and more relaxed with a predictable daily routine.<\/p>\n An autistic colleague told me that days off cause him severe anxiety.<\/strong> He works in the tech industry and finds himself depressed on days without a clear plan and routine.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have this problem, admittedly. I look forward to the weekends, doing yard work and tending to our planting beds. I also have no problem driving to the local lakes or taking walks around the neighborhood on cool nights.<\/p>\n However, some autistics don\u2019t want spontaneous outings. They enjoy what they do and consider a \u201cbreak\u201d from work extremely stressful.<\/p>\n This colleague discovered he could contribute to open-source software projects on weekends and follow his desired routine. His comfortable daily routine would cause me great anxiety, but I certainly have a weekly routine.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve long believed that year-round school would help students, especially those from marginalized backgrounds or with cognitive differences. Summer vacations are longer in the United States than elsewhere. I\u2019d gladly trade the three-month summer break for six weeks and a few extra holidays during the school year.<\/p>\n Our daughters wouldn\u2019t enjoy two or three weeks of unstructured time. Two days without some guidance is too much for them.<\/p>\n The endless school year sounds horrible to people who don\u2019t understand the need for structure. It is, however, tiring for Susan and me as parents.<\/p>\n Other foster-adopt parents have told Susan that their children also want and need a rigid structure to thrive. Support groups often discuss ways to maintain structure without succumbing to exhaustion.<\/strong><\/p>\n Each weeknight, I assemble folders of work for the next morning. I write out a little \u201cticket\u201d that lists the activities and schedule. Each girl has a copy of the daily schedule in a binder, and we have another copy posted on a central bulletin board.<\/p>\n Breakfast is at 8 a.m. most mornings. Lunch is at noon. Exercise time is as close to 2 p.m. as I can manage. Dinner is at 5 p.m., followed by bath time. Reading time lasts until 7 or 7:30 at night.<\/p>\n Their schoolwork isn\u2019t what some imagine. Children don\u2019t need or benefit from hundreds of problems on a worksheet. A typical day might feature six to eight language exercises, a page of reading, ten math problems, a page of history, and a page of science.<\/p>\n Several elementary education specialists I\u2019ve read suggest 15 minutes per topic every other day<\/strong> is sufficient to reinforce and retain knowledge. We alternate on a Monday-Wednesday, Tuesday-Thursday schedule for worksheets. For example, we do a science page on Tuesday and Thursday, but not on the other days.<\/p>\n On weekends, we use older workbooks from their past grades. The girls get to maintain their schedules in a way that they enjoy. A lot of joy is derived from completing familiar and now \u201ceasy\u201d tasks. The girls love to show off when they have mastered a skill or recalled knowledge.<\/p>\n I do schedule playtime for the girls. I tell them it would be a good time to take a break and play with their dolls, stuffed animals, construction toys, or something else. Their play seems scripted to me, not improvised. Every time they play with certain toys, the action follows the same predictable routines.<\/p>\n Several times I put out a \u201cSlip n\u2019 Slide\u201d clone in our backyard for the girls. They stood and looked at the plastic mat and its sprays of water. I had to remind them to run and then slide. They asked how many times they should do this activity.<\/p>\n The endless school year is comforting to the girls.<\/strong> There are no social interactions and few unexpected events. They have rarely ended the day in tears, upset that something was different.<\/p>\n Yes, they will need to learn more social skills. They will need to deal with unexpected events in life. Yet, with the pandemic continuing, our children have all the stress they need.<\/p>\n Maybe 2022 will be different \u2014 what everyone considers normal. I hope it is. I\u2019m not sure my daughters want that normal, though.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The 2019-20 school year has never ended. It goes on and on for our family and for many others. This isn\u2019t because we\u2019re all cruel parents or guardians. Quite the opposite. We maintain the sameness day after day because a predictable schedule helps provide emotional security to some people \u2014…<\/p>\n