\u201cDon\u2019t forget, April is Autism Awareness Month!”<\/p>\n
How could anyone forget?<\/p>\n
\u201cOne in every 44 children likely meets the criteria for an autism diagnosis. This month is for them.”<\/p>\n
Awareness. Acceptance.<\/p>\n
Autistic Pride.<\/p>\n
Thank goodness, the first week of this month, I wasn\u2019t online much. In a case of\u00a0curiously good timing\u2026 my MacBook Pro is being rebuilt by Apple, so I am mostly disconnected from Autism Awareness \/ Acceptance \/ Argument month.<\/p>\n
I do have an iPad, which I am using at this moment, but I mostly use it to play puzzle games and watch movies. I installed LinkedIn and Indeed apps last night because I\u2019m still somewhat obsessed with finding employment.<\/p>\n
I logged in to social media today and read the various autism posts here and elsewhere, in between submitting job applications into the ether.<\/p>\n
Autism April. Meh. I felt disconnected from most of what I read. I opted to solve some crosswords.<\/p>\n
All the attention given to Autism Awareness Month hasn\u2019t escaped the oldest daughter\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you like about being autistic, Daddy? What good is ADHD?\u201d<\/p>\n
The girls are aware enough to ask the tough questions. I don\u2019t have good answers.<\/p>\n
My autistic experiences reinforce the concerns I have for my daughters. They know I don\u2019t have a career. They know the three of us struggle with even natural sensory input. They know I don\u2019t have many friends, mainly online loose connections.<\/p>\n
What are autism and Neurodiversity for our family?<\/p>\n
Physical and mental health screenings. Diagnostic labels. Therapies and medications. Meltdowns. Self-injurious behaviors. Poor sleep patterns. 504 Plans and IEPs. Repeated grades.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve lost faith in most therapies, and I oppose others for dehumanizing the Neurodiverse. I\u2019m reluctant to turn to medications, especially as a parent, but I also know the girls cannot function without interventions for ADHD, anxiety, and mood swings.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not like we don\u2019t know all the coping strategies.<\/p>\n
My autistic traits take pleasures from me that other people get to have. Dinners out. Road trips. Family vacations. I worry the girls will resent their Neurodiversity at times, too.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not a great role model, since I don\u2019t have autistic pride. I have autistic anxiety and dread. Not great things to model for my children.<\/p>\n
Neurodiversity means my wife dreading any attempts to dine out or go anywhere as a family. Either one of the girls or I will experience sensory overload or some unexpected trigger. It means knowing that too often what we might want to do will end in frustration, panic, pain, or all three of those.<\/p>\n
I mentioned to my wife that I miss dining out sometimes. She reminded me that even before we became parents, we\u2019d sometimes go to a restaurant I liked only to have to leave without eating because some sight, sound, or smell overwhelmed me.\u00a0Now, with two daughters as sensitive as I am? Going anywhere is a gamble not worth taking. We can start a drive or even a walk and have to return home without reaching our planned destination.<\/p>\n
I do try to explain the positive aspects of Neurodiversity to the girls. That\u2019s not easy, though, when I\u2019m at home wishing I felt more productive and useful.<\/p>\n
Children have a lot of awareness. They are aware that all this hype about autism serves as a reminder that awareness isn\u2019t enough and acceptance sounds like resignation. At least we\u2019re no longer using the word \u201ctolerance\u201d when referring to marginalized communities. I really don\u2019t want to be tolerated.<\/p>\n
I try to keep busy and maintain some hope for the future. April is emotionally draining.<\/p>\n
At least I have the blogs, podcast, and other outlets. Without technology, I\u2019d really be lost.<\/p>\n
And yet, I\u2019m glad that, at least for this week, I don\u2019t have my favorite piece of technology.<\/p>\n
(As an aside, when replacing a battery requires replacing most of the computer, that seems like a poor design. However, our Macs remain in service for 5 years or more, so I\u2019m not too upset that the battery gave out finally.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cDon\u2019t forget, April is Autism Awareness Month!” How could anyone forget? \u201cOne in every 44 children likely meets the criteria for an autism diagnosis. This month is for them.” Awareness. Acceptance. Autistic Pride. Thank goodness, the first week of this month, I wasn\u2019t online much. In a case of\u00a0curiously good…<\/p>\n