{"id":558,"date":"2007-03-23T02:08:00","date_gmt":"2007-03-23T06:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/wordpress\/autisticme\/?p=558"},"modified":"2023-11-26T16:35:09","modified_gmt":"2023-11-26T22:35:09","slug":"struggling-even-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2007\/03\/23\/struggling-even-now\/","title":{"rendered":"Struggling Even Now: College in my 30s is Lonely"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Even as an adult in my mid-30s, I am struggling as a graduate student. I can do the work, I can read the texts, but I am struggling. What is the issue? Probably the most important of all:\u00a0<strong>In eight months I have yet to form a single personal connection within my doctoral program<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>My social anxiety is too high to attend gatherings. I keep thinking I&#8217;m going to attend an event, but I have only managed to attend a play \u2014 nothing else outside of classes. I fear going to campus, much of the time. It takes a lot of energy to attend class. Sadly, I sit and shake in my classes, even though I don&#8217;t hesitate to speak.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Classmates have called me\u00a0\u201cThe Ghost&#8221; to my face. I am an outsider<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>The importance of connections cannot be overstated. You need to connect with classmates and with instructors.<\/p>\n<p>I would tell any student that you need a mentor in a degree program. <strong>Without a mentor and a clear goal, you will struggle \u2014 as I am doing now<\/strong>. A mentor helps you navigate everything from course selection to career objectives. I cannot praise the mentors from my past enough.<\/p>\n<p><em>As a student, you need to work well with the others in your program<\/em>. During school, these individuals can tell you about instructors and campus life. Your fellow students might become professional contacts, also.<\/p>\n<p>In my case, I find I have neither form of connection at this moment. I have not socialized with a single student in my doctoral program. My colleagues don&#8217;t know me and I don&#8217;t really know them, beyond the facts I have overheard. I simply occupy a seat during courses, even as I speak. I\u2019m probably an annoying voice, too.<\/p>\n<p>Professors are lecturers, and I know they are to be respected. I wish I knew them a bit better, but I am too uncomfortable approaching them.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, I need to take action.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even as an adult in my mid-30s, I am struggling as a graduate student. I can do the work, I can read the texts, but I am struggling. What is the issue? Probably the most important of all:\u00a0In eight months I have yet to form a single personal connection within&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2007\/03\/23\/struggling-even-now\/\">Continue Reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Struggling Even Now: College in my 30s is Lonely<\/span> <i class=\"fas fa-angle-right\"><\/i><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":4014,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"iawp_total_views":25,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[38,46,54,325,394,653],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","tag-adulthood","tag-alienation","tag-anxiety","tag-graduate-school","tag-isolation","tag-social-skills","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Struggling Even Now: College in my 30s is Lonely - The Autistic Me<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2007\/03\/23\/struggling-even-now\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Struggling Even Now: College in my 30s is Lonely - The Autistic Me\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Even as an adult in my mid-30s, I am struggling as a graduate student. 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