{"id":635,"date":"2007-05-16T00:37:00","date_gmt":"2007-05-16T04:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/wordpress\/autisticme\/?p=635"},"modified":"2023-11-26T16:35:09","modified_gmt":"2023-11-26T22:35:09","slug":"never-ending-projects-never-completed-that-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2007\/05\/16\/never-ending-projects-never-completed-that-is\/","title":{"rendered":"Never-ending Projects (Never Completed, That Is)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Completing tasks is a real challenge for me. This is definitely why I was diagnosed with ADHD years before <a class=\"zem_slink\" title=\"High-functioning autism\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/High-functioning_autism\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia\">high-functioning autism<\/a> became the official label for my odd mix of traits. ADHD with seizures, repetitive movements, and a long list of other ill-fitting characteristics.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I have a lot of incomplete projects dating back more than two decades<\/strong>. I also have many completed projects I never seriously tried to publish or distribute. In other words, I do a lot of writing, sketching, programming, and planning without following through to the expected conclusion.<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s strange is that I do complete, with a lot of anxiety from a perfectionist streak, school work, magazine columns, grant applications, handouts for my students, and projects assigned by other employers. <strong>So, it isn&#8217;t everything I don&#8217;t complete&#8230; just the projects I seem to really want to complete for myself<\/strong>. My <a class=\"zem_slink\" title=\"Perfectionism (psychology)\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Perfectionism_%28psychology%29\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia\">perfectionism<\/a> is limited (somewhat) by deadlines, but when there is no deadline, I never stop reworking a project.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Perfectionism is unhealthy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>I outlined a series of science fiction stories in the fifth grade. I have all the notes from fifth grade through the present. I start writing the stories, get depressed with the results, and restart. I&#8217;m not a science fiction \/ fantasy reader because I find flaws in the stories. I want to write something that is impossible to write, of course. Novels, regardless of genre, contain minor errors, but anything scientific is going to be especially challenging to perfect. I should just write, be done with one of the novels, and move ahead.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve done no better with my start-stop-start over crime novels or thrillers. I complete something&#8230; then decide it should be rewritten. More often, I reach the half-way mark and start again, as if 60,000 words or more should be tossed aside.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I do complete some stories. In fact, I&#8217;ve completed a lot of <a class=\"zem_slink\" title=\"Short story\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Short_story\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener wikipedia\">short stories<\/a>, theatrical scripts, and lots of poetry. But, I don&#8217;t do anything with those works, either, because I wonder how good they really are. Self-doubts eventually win and I do nothing with the works.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve tried weekly deadlines for myself, writers groups, and having a student edit my works. Nothing seems to counter the pattern of starting over too often. I&#8217;m hoping this changes someday.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s sad that I can be amazingly productive and end up canceling out my efforts with panic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Completing tasks is a real challenge for me. This is definitely why I was diagnosed with ADHD years before high-functioning autism became the official label for my odd mix of traits. ADHD with seizures, repetitive movements, and a long list of other ill-fitting characteristics. I have a lot of incomplete&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2007\/05\/16\/never-ending-projects-never-completed-that-is\/\">Continue Reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Never-ending Projects (Never Completed, That Is)<\/span> <i class=\"fas fa-angle-right\"><\/i><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":4014,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"iawp_total_views":23,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[13],"tags":[36,187,296,531],"class_list":["post-635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing","tag-add-adhd","tag-creative-writing","tag-focus","tag-perfectionism","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Never-ending Projects (Never Completed, That Is) - The Autistic Me<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tameri.com\/autisticme\/2007\/05\/16\/never-ending-projects-never-completed-that-is\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Never-ending Projects (Never Completed, That Is) - The Autistic Me\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Completing tasks is a real challenge for me. 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