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Autistics Make Others Uncomfortable, Instantly

Last updated on November 26, 2023

Autistics make other people uncomfortable, and we do this almost instantly upon meeting. In my communications classes, I teach about the 50 to 500 milliseconds during which most people develop first impressions. These impressions are difficult, nearly impossible, to counteract with evidence and familiarity.

Knowing us doesn’t undo the initial discomfort of meeting usThat is the cost of autism.

Recently, I was asked how to help an autistic college student deal with what he perceived as rejection by instructors and peers. As I researched his self-reported experiences compared to the scientific literature, I came across a 2016 meta-analysis of three previous studies. This sentence, nestled within the findings, caught my attention and changed my perspective before replying to the college student and his disability services support provider.

Negative first impressions by adults may affect how children with ASD are perceived and treated by educators, and similar impressions by same-age observers may limit the formation of social networks and friendships.

The 2016 paper, excerpted below, found that the sense of rejection was possibly justified. The thin-slice judgments occurring when people meet do lead neurologically typical peers and adults to avoid and reject autistics of all ages. I’m uncertain if any amount of training or therapy can undo the autistic traits that lead to this rejection. It might be our neurologies make it difficult to compensate for how we are: atypical by nature.

How people react to us is not merely cultural — no matter how much some people wish that to be the case. Autism is not a cultural disorder. Culture might magnify our challenges, but it does not create them. How people react to autistics is beyond our control, making autism even more isolating and frustrating. Our social interactions involve two or more people, all misunderstanding each other for some reason. This explains why many of us are most comfortable working from home and online as adults. Our words are okay, as long as they exist beyond us, frozen. Even online interactions are problematic in real-time. Asynchronous communication works best for autistics.

Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments

Noah J. Sasson, Daniel J. Faso, Jack Nugent, Sarah Lovell, Daniel P. Kennedy, and Ruth B. Grossman

10 October 2016

Abstract

Individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), including those who otherwise require less support, face severe difficulties in everyday social interactions. Research in this area has primarily focused on identifying the cognitive and neurological differences that contribute to these social impairments, but social interaction by definition involves more than one person and social difficulties may arise not just from people with ASD themselves, but also from the perceptions, judgments, and social decisions made by those around them. Here, across three studies, we find that first impressions of individuals with ASD made from thin slices of real-world social behavior by typically-developing observers are not only far less favorable across a range of trait judgments compared to controls, but also are associated with reduced intentions to pursue social interaction. These patterns are remarkably robust, occur within seconds, do not change with increased exposure, and persist across both child and adult age groups. However, these biases disappear when impressions are based on conversational content lacking audio-visual cues, suggesting that style, not substance, drives negative impressions of ASD. Collectively, these findings advocate for a broader perspective of social difficulties in ASD that considers both the individual’s impairments and the biases of potential social partners.

How to cite this article: Sasson, N. J. et al. Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments. Sci. Rep. 6, 40700; doi: 10.1038/srep40700 (2016).

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

It does not matter what the cognitive level of the autistic might be, the social impairments remain defining aspects of autism. In my experience, (forgive the clinical and misleading term) high-functioning autistic students are extremely susceptible to depression stemming from social rejection. The alienation does not decline with age and seems particularly difficult during high school and college. Being aware of social isolation through observations of others reinforces the sense of loneliness.

Introduction

Individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are characterized by impairments in social interaction that contribute to broad social disabilities and poor functional outcomes. Across the lifespan, these impairments are associated with smaller social networks and fewer friendships, difficulty securing and retaining employment, high rates of loneliness, and an overall reduced quality of life. Such poor outcomes persist even for individuals with ASD who have average to above average intelligence.

There are many reasons we fail socially. Autistics might be aware of social norms — we might even memorize the routines — but social interactions involve more than memorized routines. We must recognize that…

…social interaction quality is not only predicated upon social ability but also social expression, and many aspects of social presentation are atypical in ASD, including abnormal facial expressivity, anomalous use of gaze, lower rates or unusual timing of expressive gestures, violations of personal space, and unusual vocal prosody.

Based on the responses of “typically developing” (TD) peers, our facial expressions are wrong, our eye contact is wrong, our gestures are wrong, our distance is wrong, and our voices are wrong. How many “wrongs” can we correct through conscious effort? Not many, because conscious effort requires more than the 50–500 milliseconds we have to make a good impression. We start off poorly with people and our reactions to the rejection lead to yet more rejection and alienation.

How people respond to unfamiliar individuals prior to social interaction is governed in large part by first impressions, which are near instantaneous judgments of personality and character traits based upon “thin slices” of information. First impressions are associated with immediate behavioral responses and long-lasting attitudes. Whereas positive first impressions can evoke approach behaviors, negative first impressions often prompt rejection or avoidance behaviors. For individuals with ASD, negative perceptions may relate to the social exclusion they frequently experience and affect their ability to successfully navigate the social demands necessary for optimal functional outcomes in adulthood.

It isn’t the autistic’s words being rejected… it is the autistic social being that is rejected. Our thoughts are valued; we are not. That might seem like harsh hyperbole, but the reality is that I have been asked to take courses online because I made others uncomfortable. The physical me, The Autistic Me, was rejected as a member of the class, not my intellectual contributions. As the study notes,

Findings

Our findings show that negative first impressions of adults with ASD occurred only when audio and/or visual information was present, and not when the transcript of their speech content was evaluated (Study 1).

It isn’t what we say but how we say it that leads people to avoid and reject autistics. Unfortunately, it gets worse. Even photographs of autistics received negative emotional responses, while photos of neurotypical controls did not. Somehow, we look atypical.

… a static image was sufficient for generating negative first impressions of those with ASD.… In contrast, first impressions of TD [typically developing] controls improved with the addition of a visual information, suggesting that unlike the ASD group, visual cues helped rather than hurt the impressions they made on observers.

We also demonstrate that negative impressions remain stable across multiple thin-slice judgments. A series of randomly selected static images of college-aged individuals with ASD collected from a first-person perspective during social interaction were consistently rated as less approachable and more awkward than matched controls, with observers indicating a lower likelihood of being friends with members of the ASD group (Study 2).

From across a classroom, from across a quad or courtyard, people sense the autistic is different. Our professors recognize this, too. We are immediately sized up, before we say a word. People instantly want to avoid autistics, and this desire to avoid us includes well-trained, socially conscious, educators at all levels. When a teacher rejects us, we experience the closing of a path towards normalcy and success. If education isn’t a safe space for autistics, no space will be sufficiently tolerant and accepting.

Negative first impressions by adults may affect how children with ASD are perceived and treated by educators, and similar impressions by same-age observers may limit the formation of social networks and friendships.

Autistics experience almost daily rejection of our autistic traits. My wife and children do react negatively to some of my traits, and I am painfully aware of this. But, they don’t reject me. Strangers, however, have that opportunity to avoid me and to reject me.

If you aren’t autistic, consider what a job interview means for us. A first date. The first day of school. Every situation with strangers is a situation in which we will be judged. There’s almost no way to prepare people for a first impression. The only method to prepare people that I can envision is to send an email explaining, “I am autistic and…” but that’s not how I want to enter a job interview.

The researchers offer an idealistic (unrealistic) solution:

If our goal is to improve social interactions for individuals with ASD, it may therefore be equally important to educate others to be more aware and accepting of social presentation differences, rather than trying to change the many interwoven factors of self-presentation that mark the expressions of individuals with ASD as atypical.

What about the student who contacted me? I passed along this research and suggested training for his instructors. I also asked permission to explain why this research is important to those of us in higher education. We need to be able to judge our students on their abilities, not how we feel about them. Unfortunately, it is impossible to interact with people in a neutral manner, no matter how hard every good teacher tries to be neutral towards students. Body language and tone always reveal how people feel about each other.

At least research confirms that being autistic makes it difficult to navigate social interactions. Too bad life is mostly lived through social interactions.

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