Last updated on November 26, 2023
Severe test anxiety haunts me. I hate exams of any kind. Like many people, I feel sick leading up to any test and I feel uncertain of my knowledge. I worry for weeks before a test, during the test, and for the time after the test until I receive my results.
Exams feel more like a test of one’s ability to manage stress than assessments of knowledge. Tests don’t measure real-world performance. They measure the ability to take tests.
Perfectionism magnifies test anxiety. I don’t want to merely pass a test; I worry that I’ll be judged by my margin of passing the test. If a score isn’t in the ninetieth percentile or higher, I feel like I failed an exam. Others might see a 75 or 80 percent and be content. Me? If it isn’t an “A” (and yes, I know there isn’t really an “A” on these exams), then it wasn’t a good score.
Even with anxiety and diagnoses that qualify for accommodations, I have never asked for any allowances. As I remind my students, I don’t want a nurse who asked for extra time on her exams. If I expect other people to perform under pressure, I should do the same.
Yes, I know not every career requires stress management. Certainly few careers have lives in the balance. But, there were no accommodations on tests when I was young and I’ve seen too many privileged people abuse the accommodation allowances.
I do advocate for changes in testing, though, because we’re giving too many tests for too many reasons. I’d end most college entrance exams, for example. (Simultaneously, I’d argue to kill the “5-point” A for advanced high school courses and I’d curtail the insane grade inflation at all educational levels.)
On Wednesday (June 12, 2019), I will once again be taking one of the much-maligned and critiqued high-stakes tests common to education and career certification. For all the complaining we do about standardized tests, these fill-in-the-bubble ScanTron-style (or click the “bubble”) exams determine a great deal about out lives.
And, contrary to complaints that this is a uniquely “American issue” with testing, let us not forget the extreme stress experienced by students globally. These gate-keeping exams exist in some form in almost every contemporary culture. South Korea has an entire test-taking industry that makes the United States’ version look tame. I’ve had friends move from Europe because they did poorly on exams that determine university placement. “The A-levels” in the United Kingdom have their own mystique.
At some point in history, it was determined that exams could determine competency. In fact, the exam I take on Wednesday is called a “subject area competency exam” by the states using it for teacher credentialing.
Nurses, doctors, lawyers, engineers, real estate agents, teachers, computer technicians, all face exams that can determine the fate of one’s career choice.
I remember taking the various bubble-tests as an elementary school student. That was in the 1970s. One was called the Iowa Test of Basic Skills, or the ITBS. We lived in California, but the ITBS was something of a national standard. This changed as a long list of acronyms was introduced for state public education tests. There was the STAR program. The CAASPP. The CMT (part of STAR and CAASPP). The list goes on.
There was the PSAT, the SAT, the ACT, and so on to sort students for college. Once in college, you had to prepare for the GRE and whatever professional program exams required for a graduate degree. As an aspiring teacher, I had to take the CBEST, NTE, Praxis I, Praxis II, and several subject-specific exams. The testing never seems to end.
As computer geek, I’ve taken (over-priced) exams for networking, programming, systems administration, video editing, web coding, and general technician skills. There was an entire industry of computer skills testing. Thankfully, that test mania has faded a bit, but there are still companies that want CompTIA A+, Microsoft, or Cisco certifications.
If I earn an acceptable weighted score on Wednesday, which I will know a few days later, then I can continue towards teaching in K12 once again. Passing this exam will allow me to take more exams! And then I can be one of the many educators preparing students for their own exams.
Most of us know the amount of testing required today is absurd, yet we keep adding more tests.
Only fifty or even 25 years ago the most important exam in someone’s life was a driving test. Now, that seems quaint.
What scares me is that if I don’t pass, I’ll feel incompetent and ignorant. As with most professional exams, aspiring teachers can take their exams several times, depending on a state’s standards. But, not passing on the first try would shake my confidence.
Now, back to reviewing for a test I care about and a test I find absurd.