Last updated on November 26, 2023
Podcast Episode 0031; Season 03, Episode 03; October 14, 2019
My theory is that a need for order and predictability corresponds to a desire to reduce cognitive overhead. I seek to control my workspace, my spaces at home, and my belongings. I don’t seek to organize spaces that are not mine, unlike some of the OCD individuals I know. Your space can be messy – but not mine. You can use whatever pencil you want – I’ll use my favorite brand.
Transcript
Scott: Hello, and welcome to The Autistic Me Podcast. I am Christopher Scott Wyatt, speaking as The Autistic Me.
[00:00:12] First, I’d like to engage in some housekeeping activities on the podcast.
[00:00:17] You’ll notice that the sound quality is maybe not perfect but much better than it was in the previous two podcast attempts for season three. We have now completed our move to Texas and I have my mixer, mic pop screen, and other niceties plugged in in the guest room. This should improve the quality of recordings and improve the overall podcast.
[00:00:44] And today’s topic will be that need for order and organization in life.
[00:00:50] The second thing I want to mention, in terms of housekeeping, the podcast this season should be every two weeks, so every other week. That will make it easier for me to try to get some of the older podcast episodes transcribed and posted to the blog. The extra time might also allow me to prepare episodes with outlines and scripts – a little better overall. I just think the quality will be better if I slow down the pace this season until I get into a routine and until we are fully acclimated to the new house new surroundings and new routines.
[00:01:27] And so on to the topic, which is the need for order and organization in my life.
[00:01:35] Many of the parents and autistics I meet ask about that need to put things in straight lines and specific orders. Parents have mentioned children who line things up by color or size. Adult autistics mentioned the need to alphabetize their library shelves and record collections or other things. They have a need to have everything in its place and a place for everything.
[00:02:05] My personal theory is that for me this is a way to reduce and eliminate cognitive demands during the day. If everything is in its place and I have a sense of order around me, I can better focus on the tasks that I need to complete. If I have to worry about where my pencils are, where my recording gear is, or where I might find adapters for my computer, I find that the stress of needing to restore order overpowers my need to get specific tasks completed for the day.
[00:02:43] I tend to rehearse the day in my mind each morning and I have a routine that I expect to have followed and when that becomes impossible, the stress is overwhelming.
[00:02:56] I would not compare it to other mental health issues, like obsessive compulsive disorder, because I simply don’t know enough to do so. I don’t find that I compulsively organize things when we’re at dinner, or I don’t need to straighten things up in stores as I have seen with some friends and colleagues with OCD. But I do have a need to have my workspace and my home organized for my daily routines.
[00:03:30] But again, I’m not qualified to say that it’s not similar to OCD and people do joke about the autistic OCD, but I think there’s a difference. In my mind, my need to have things consistent in orderly doesn’t really go beyond my little world. I’m not going to try to organize other people. I’m not going to try to organize other spaces.
[00:03:57] I am primarily concerned with keeping my workplace, my work spaces at home, and at my workplace in order and likewise my particular surroundings. I don’t want to organize my kids’ or my wife’s closet. I don’t obsess about organizing the kitchen a particular way. So it’s a fairly limited need for order but it’s a very specific need for order in terms of my routines in my predictability.
[00:04:30] Like many autistics, I do rely on specific brands or specific products that I have become comfortable with. I don’t consider them a mental crutch so much as I can anticipate how they function and how they work and so I’m more comfortable with them.
[00:04:47] Even the pencils with which I write are Pentel point-five millimeter mechanical pencils that I’ve used since high school. And I have stockpiled some of those in case they become difficult to find.
[00:05:01] I like specific brands of ink pen. I really do find that certain brands of paper are different, or certain weights are different, but those are more because I can anticipate where and how to click on the pencil. I know how to refill it quickly. I have found that some other mechanical pencils have unusual clickers out of position and I want to focus on my writing or I want to focus on my typing or I want to focus on my drawing….
[00:05:35] Whatever I’m doing, I want the tools to be familiar and I don’t think that that’s unusual. I’ve talked to mechanics and carpenters who told me they use the same tools not only because they trust them but because they’ve become predictable.
[00:05:49] Likewise, I know camera operators who work in the film industry and these camera operators and directors of photography like specific brands not only because of the quality but because they can anticipate where the controls are. In many ways, I found this true with photographers, who like Canon or Nikon equipment. Again, the buttons are where you expect them to be. The feel is how you expect it to feel.
[00:06:15] I think this is why many of us have trouble going back and forth among computer operating systems. I’m fairly comfortable going from Linux to the Mac operating system to Windows, but I know a lot of people aren’t and that’s because there’s a cognitive demand as you have to think about using Control versus Command… using the Meta key… and so what happens is you invest a lot of time in the operating system differences instead of getting your work done.
[00:06:46] And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting that predictability as an autistic individual. I don’t think that I have the emotional and cognitive capacity to handle a whole lot of overhead. And so by reducing that overhead, I reduce the potential for stress and meltdowns and panic.
[00:07:11] Some people might find it very strange that I buy one brand of pencil or I like one type of college-ruled spiral notebook or one brand of legal pads more than another. The brand I like, Cambridge, has a thicker paper so it handles fountain pens well or felt-tip pens or gel pins well without bleeding through.
[00:07:32] And again, these are preferences that I have because if something goes wrong, I panic. I get stressed and don’t know how to work.
[00:07:43] Getting our house set up here in Texas has been really important because it was difficult to record the first two episodes of the podcast without my mixer, my mic, my equipment in the right place – in the right order. I tend to have my mixer on the right-hand side, even though I’m left-handed, and I adjust the mixer with my right hand. Meanwhile my computer and keyboard are over on the left-hand side. And I do use the mouse and the keyboard with my left hand while I’m working. Also, my right hand is the one that has the slight palsy and paralysis so the mixer with its sliders is extremely easy to use with the right hand and very predictable. It doesn’t worry about any shaking or twitching. Whille on the left-hand side, the mouse, trackpad, and other equipment works with my left hand well. These preferences reduce stress and they’re really not that uncommon.
[00:08:41] I’m sure everyone, non-autistic and autistic alike, has preferences in their work space for ergonomic and usability reasons. But while most people could easily adapt to minor inconveniences, I found that not having my equipment in my layout was causing a lot of anxiety and a lot of additional stress — making it difficult to get work done. So now that everything is slowly falling into place, it’s a little easier. I’m still not quite comfortable in the new setup. I don’t like that I’m missing part of my desk or my layout. I don’t like the distance of the monitor for my eyes. Everything is a little bit more difficult to read in this setup. And so there are things I need to fix, but the fact that I needed to get everything in its place to feel comfortable merely reflects the I wanted to lower that anxiety.
[00:09:42] This is true of everything in my life.
[00:09:44] I want my clothes in a particular order. I do color code my hangers with short sleeves on blue hangers, long sleeves on white hangers.
[00:09:54] I have a particular order for my pants in terms of sizes and needs and types. And I find that all of this makes it easier for me to go in in the morning, get dressed and continue on with my day. I like my drawers organized in a certain way so I can just grab my razor, grab my comb, grab my toothbrush….
[00:10:14] And again, I don’t think these things are unusual. And everyone likes that predictability. It’s just more essential for me than it might be for my wife or other individuals in terms of reducing stress and that cognitive overhead.
[00:10:32] Now that we are getting established in Texas, there are things that I need to do to the house to continue to reduce my stress.
[00:10:39] I don’t like the clutter.
[00:10:41] I don’t like having boxes in our living room, boxes in the garage, boxes in the hallway. And we will work over the next few weeks to reduce some of that clutter.
[00:10:51] The most difficult thing for me is to have books that are in boxes instead of on the bookshelves. And, no, my bookshelves are not yet organized the way I would like and so finding things requires a little bit of extra effort. And I have been frustrated thinking something was missing when it’s merely out of place.
[00:11:12] Moving is always stressful for everyone and for me and my needs, getting things back in order will be an essential step towards restoring some calm and continuity to my daily routines.
[00:11:27] When autistics tell me that they have to have a particular cup or a particular straw – a particular car even – I understand. And as I said, everyone has these needs and when people say, “Well that’s kind of silly that you need a particular pencil!” that might seem silly at first, but then you ask, “Do you like a particular keyboard? Do you like a particular computer? Do you like particular cookware?”
[00:11:55] And what you quickly find is that non-autistics have preferences too.
[00:11:59] The autistic individual just has more of them for that security and that sense of control and that sense of predictability. But really, it’s just a degree of difference in my experience.
[00:12:11] It’s not… It’s not something that people can’t understand if they pause and think about it.
[00:12:20] There are some things that I have found that I don’t understand, but my quirks are just as strange.
[00:12:30] When I meet someone who has to have a green straw or someone who has to have a clear cup of a certain type, you know, at first I do think, “Well,l wait a minute! It’s just a straw!” And yet, when I think about it, I have preferences too.
[00:12:44] There are straws I like and don’t like. I really don’t understand the paper straw, for example, but there are those are quirks. And when you think about it though, a child with sensory issues might find a particular brand of straw or a particular cup easier to hold and as an adult that has simply continued.
[00:13:05] So to dismiss some of the things that an autistic wants over and over again is short-sighted, to say the least.
[00:13:14] I also understand when children have particular toys they want, particular clothes they want to try to keep forever. And I don’t think that that’s unusual.
[00:13:23] I think we merely pay more attention to that sense of order and that need for continuity when it’s an autistic and we might even be exaggerating when we say, “Well, that’s just the autistic trait.” When, as I said, I’m sure my wife has preferences for ink pens and trackballs and keyboards. And in fact, I know she does.
[00:13:46] The only difference is she can function without those as where I get too stressed sometimes to even continue working.
[00:13:52] So there’s a response difference but the fact that we have preferences isn’t unique to autistics.
[00:13:59] You have been listening to The Autistic Me Podcast.
[00:14:02] I am Christopher Scott Wyatt.
[00:14:04] I appreciate your patience as we have moved and I have set up the new podcasting gear. I hope that you continue listening to this podcast and visiting The Autistic Me blog.
[00:14:15] Also, don’t forget there is The Autistic Me on Facebook and Twitter. Continue to support The Autistic Me and I will continue to blog and podcast.
[00:14:25] Thank you very much, and I look forward to our next meeting.