Wishing to be Nicer

Last updated on November 26, 2023

I love my wife, my cats, my family… but I wish I knew how to sound and act nicer. I can be curt, rude, blunt, or whatever else you want to call it. I would like to sound much nicer to the people about whom I care most.

(Tangent: The editor in me forced a rewrite of “people I care most about” even though I know it is a silly compulsion to move a preposition.)

I want to be mellow. I long to be a calming voice, not the loud, nervous, anxious person I am at times. Especially when I don’t feel well, I can be a real jerk.

No idea how I can change when I’ve wanted to be different most of my life. One minor thing goes wrong and I can’t relax for hours or even days. It’s not fair to anyone else.

I dislike me, and that’s not an easy way to exist.