Responding to: You Walked Away? I’d Never Do That!

The most frequent question I’ve received after deciding to leave a job has been, “How could walk away without another job?” That’s a good question and reflects real concerns people have.

Autistics struggle with employment without any additional challenges. Now that I have severe spinal pain and my Erb’s palsy has worsened, I doubt I could have maintained more than a part-time schedule, Autistic or not. My right arm has always been partially paralyzed; the declining range of motion and increasing tremors make typing even slower and more tedious than it was. The pinched nerve root and herniated disc trigger pain that rivals the 2023 subdural hematoma. That level of pain is debilitating no matter how high your pain tolerance might be. There are still nights when I’m lucky to obtain two hours of sleep.

I push through severe pain most days. I didn’t surrender to the pain until I was at the point of being physically ill. I had to be reminded that the last time I delayed treatment, the doctors thought I might not survive.

Carpal tunnel is an added bonus on top of the neck pain and palsy.

Avoid judging anyone else for quitting a job. People make difficult choices that you might not understand. There’s always a backstory, and the person might be walking away from a position for self-preservation.

I’ve met people who took a year or two off to care for a family member. I’d list that as a job, personally, because it is. Other people, myself included, took time during the pandemic to homeschool their children. Gaps in employment reflect tough choices and complicated stories, not flippant attitudes.

Maintain a Safety Net

It is not easy to save money. It takes effort. I save a large percentage of every paycheck… far more than most people. My wife and I have a safety net that could (in theory) cover expenses for two years in an emergency. My wife and children need me as a person more than they need me as a paycheck. We can cut expenses and do without in an emergency.

We don’t carry credit card debt. That’s a tough lesson we learned from experience. Your credit limit isn’t the same as having money — never forget that. It’s not easy, and it takes planning to eliminate credit card balances. We also own two cars. They aren’t fancy, but we maintain them well.

Listen to Friends and Family

Don’t exit a job if it’s going to hurt other people. But, staying in a job can also harm the well-being of others. I did not make the decision to exit without listening to friends and family. They suggested that I leave, which also signaled their support. The physical health issues were increasing in severity. Several times in my life, I have ended up in emergency rooms; I was in a neurology ICU for nearly a week after a “headache” ended up far more serious. A near-death experience has a way of clarifying how fragile health can be.

Stay Connected

If you lose a job or exit a job, stay connected, stay current, and do things that you can mention in an interview. If you can, remain in professional organizations, local groups, etc. In my situation, that means that I continue writing, researching, and publishing.

The number of professionals who aren’t active in organizations surprises me. Don’t merely join groups and pay dues, either. Be active and be known as an expert willing to help others in your field.

Have a Plan, Before You Need It

Keep your career portfolio up-to-date and have a plan for entering the job market. This year, I’ve met several people who were laid off after long careers with major employers. They didn’t walk away, but now they are rushing to enter a messy job market. We all know we’re supposed to update resumes and work histories, but we get complacent.

Sadly, I’ve been meeting academics who were shocked when universities closed majors, consolidated departments, or used finances as a reason to cut full-time positions. No career is secure. (I also understand why that makes walking away so scary.)

At the end of every semester and the end of every summer, I update my academic CV and my traditional resume. You never know what’s going to happen.

Deciding to Leave

Walking away from a job isn’t easy. It’s not something anyone should do impulsively. The reasons why I could and did leave include:

• Friends and family recognized that the post was affecting my physical health;
• Safety nets were in place, ensuring I could recover physically;
• Networks were maintained, especially professional contacts in my field;
• Projects, including part-time and/or freelance work, were available;
• Career materials were, and are, up-to-date and ready for whatever lies ahead.