A reader asks, “If you don’t think about the autistic traits, what about your wife? They tend to notice what husbands fail to see in the mirror.” Is my wife more aware of my autistic traits than I am? Probably. I suppose the above is true of all friends and…
Category: Relationships
Work, school, family… they are all about relationships.
Ignoring people isn’t something I can do. There is no “polite mode” with my lack of executive function. If someone is a jerk, I tell the person, at that moment. That’s something non-autistics never quite grasp, either. My wife has known me for 30 years and forgets that I have…
When I was young, I wanted to be an adult. I related more to my teachers than to other students as early as first and second grade. I was interested in current events, the stock market, and science. I was an outsider among my peers. Now, I relate more to…
Hanging out with friends seems to be something that most of my Facebook “friends” do on a weekly basis. Some seem to be hanging out nightly. They are the social butterflies I sometimes envy, because social skills matter personally and professionally. I don’t get random emails, messages, or phone calls…
It is possible that all two or three of my regular followers have noticed the relative inactivity of this blog. Though I have tried to consider if there’s anything of value to share, the simple fact is that nothing is compelling me to write about autism, autistic culture, autism causes,…
Increasingly, I am aware of the “communities” to which I don’t belong. An overused word in the humanities, “community” is more than a group of people with some minor similarities. A community has to have some manner of unified sense of purpose. I belong to several organizations without any desire…
As I read articles on, interviews of, and blogs by the family members of people with special needs, I keep encountering apologies and guilt. This is particularly true of parents and spouses who feel guilty for wanting personal time. The sense of being trapped by a routine is a regular…
This morning I awoke to Mimi and Alex purring next to me. It is overcast, which I like, and cool. As I was doing the dishes, I thought about how fortunate we are right now. We have a house, incomplete as it is, the yard is looking much better this…
Earlier today I was asked: “May I ask the reason you are even ON an ASD list if you’re so self-sufficient and never need any assistance for anything?” Of course, I’ve never claimed life is a solo project. My presentations begin with a reminder that most successful people depend on…
I had a student this week who mentioned her ten-year high school reunion was approaching. Was asked if I went to mine. Nope. No reunions, no proms, no formal dances. No grad party. “Did you do college commencement at least?” Nope. Not USC, not CSUF, and not UMN. “Wow. Don’t…