Looking Back, Looking Ahead

Last updated on November 26, 2023

Welcome to 2020.

The year 2019 wasn’t too bad and I have to assume 2020 will be better. Yes, there were disappointments and struggles in 2019, but overall it was a good year.

My wife and I officially became the adoptive parents of our two daughters. We love them and set aside plans when necessary to make sure we were at least the one stable thing in their lives. I had to turn down some job interviews and we remained in Pennsylvania at least two years longer than I would have preferred… but nothing, nothing in this world could be more important to us than our little family.

Of course, once it was possible to leave, we did.

We moved from Pennsylvania as quickly as we could because there’s not much there for us or the girls. The economy is stagnant and the population is still declining in much of the state. It wasn’t a promising job market and the weather was something I didn’t want to endure. Readers know I hate freezing temperatures, snow, and ice.

This isn’t to say that we won’t remain in touch with friends and connections in Pennsylvania. The girls have roots there and I assume they will be curious someday.

Now, we’re in Texas. It’s warm in December. I like that. Summer wasn’t too bad, either, considering my wife and I are from Central California. We’re quickly acclimating to warm weather after 13 years away from the Southwest.

I left university teaching and obtained preliminary clearances for teaching high school in Texas. On the downside, I have learned that high school teaching isn’t what I had hoped it would be. The girls want me to teach elementary school so I could be with them. That’s not happening. Instead, I’m pondering a move back to private industry along with teaching part-time at colleges or universities again.

For me, 2019 marked the realization that I’m not going to have a full career. I’m over 50 and that makes working 20-30 years in a job pretty unlikely. At this stage, 10-15 years in a post would be nice. Accepting that I didn’t become a tenured professor makes it a little easier (a little) to move on with K12 or something else.

As for the girls’ school, it is great. They have dedicated and understanding teachers. The school district is excellent. I do wish the high school or middle school had an appropriate technology opening.

In 2019 we bought several robot kits for my teaching. Turns out, the oldest daughter likes robots. Maybe the youngest will, too. The oldest has built a few LEGO robots and is working on another plan. The kit she’s using has six different robot designs, all using the same controller. When you finish one plan, you unlock the next plan.

We joined the YMCA so the girls can attend various classes: swimming, sports, crafts, and more. I use the gym and am trying desperately to keep my diabetes in check. Turns out, that’s difficult to do. My wife is much better at the gym thing than I am.

We finally have a home with lots of wall space for bookcases. I have most of my books unpacked for the first time since leaving California! My wife still has a lot of books in boxes, but we plan to unbox those in 2020.

Now that we’re in Texas, easy distance to three major airports, we can visit friends and family more affordably. My wife will be making at least two trips to California this year for work and family. Flights from Pittsburgh were expensive and required extra stops if you wanted to save any money.

We like our new neighborhood. The homes are all a bit too similar, a complaint I had in Pennsylvania, too. I do wish builders had more variety when they offer elevations (facades) of only a few plans. Still, the homes are brick and stone, which is beautiful compared to the vinyl siding of our previous house. I liked the brick of our Minneapolis home. Brick is just nicer than siding or stucco.

We ended up in a community just shy of 24,000 people. That’s a nice small town. We’re near freeways if we want to go to one of the major cities, but I’d rather not.

Overall, 2019 was a big transition. We’re officially a family. We’re Texans. I’m letting go of some dreams and trying not to set unrealistic new goals.

The year 2020 is about being the best dad I can be. It’s about being a better husband, too.

I know the girls feel more secure with the adoption finalized and a new start in a new home. Though she can (and did) live anywhere as I chased my dreams, I’d like to believe my wife is going to be more content in Texas, too.

She’s already a Daisy (Girl Scouts) troop leader. I’m volunteering a little bit for the Autism Society. We’re going to get to know neighbors and be a part of this community.

We want this to be a forever home, with no big plans to chase any dreams. The big plan is to be here for the girls. It’s a good plan.