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Seeing My Fragile Self

Last updated on November 26, 2023

Overnight Wednesday my left eye’s cornea suffered a tear or abrasion. It was a surprise. An extremely painful surprise.

Unfortunately, I am familiar with the pain. In 2008 and 2009, I suffered several corneal tears in Minnesota’s cold, dry weather. It’s a pain you do not forget.

For the last dozen years, I’ve been using sterile eye drops throughout the day. Admittedly, I likely forgot the drop Wednesday night after dealing with two hyperactive children all day. My mind was foggy, at best.

As soon as I could focus, I sent a message to our medical clinic because eye issues can be serious with diabetes. Even if I assumed it was cornea tear, I wasn’t going to take any chances. By Friday afternoon, I was with the ophthalmologist. She examined my eyes and decided to use a contact lens as a bandage.

Late Saturday, I was in extreme pain again. Something was wrong. My vision went blurry.

I woke up about 4 a.m. on Sunday. It felt like something was scraping my eye yet again. This time, however, it was the contact lens. It had torn in half and a portion was stuck to my upper eyelid.

The mere thought of touching my eyes causes extreme anxiety. I couldn’t do it, not even to remove the pieces of the contact.

Using Refresh Tears, I flushed the left eye repeatedly until the contact halves were both below my eye so I could retrieve them.

When I had corneal abrasions in Minneapolis, I actually passed out from the pain. It’s that severe. That’s why I try to never forget the eye drops!

Pennsylvania’s moist air was good for my vision. The winter wasn’t as dry as Minnesota’s and the summers were mild. Moving to Central Texas, which is also humid, I assumed my eyes would be fine. I continued to use eye drops, but I didn’t worry about dry air.

Yet, here I am. Monday, I’ll call the eye center and find out what the next step is after the contact lens.

I still remember the series of medical emergencies in Minnesota. Those were difficult years and I don’t want to repeat them.

Eyes are fragile and I do my best to care for mine.

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