Last updated on November 26, 2023
August certainly didn’t end the way we had hoped. “Anne” is back to homeschooling and I’m doing all I can to get her back on track after the attempted return to public school.
It feels like she’s had every school year at home. I believe she’s had at least a portion of kindergarten and all of first and second grades at home. It’s something of a blur, now. Did the pandemic start in 2020? I have to ask myself, since it seems like it was just a few months ago… while also feeling like five or six years.
Anne wanted to go back to school. She wanted to make friends and do well. Instead, she’s at home and struggling to do work that should be easy by now.
The school wasn’t going to meet her needs, yet I’m not sure that we can, either.
Her ADHD, dyslexia, and other challenges run into my ADHD and autistic traits. I’m finding that by three or four in the afternoon, I’m exhausted.
Trying to motivate Anne to care more about her schoolwork is proving difficult. If I can’t get her moving forward, she’ll stop trying. She doesn’t have “grit” or “perseverance” and I’m not sure she has any respect for adult authority. Without any intrinsic and little extrinsic motivation, there’s no way to get her past these struggles. We’re stuck.
She struggles to focus, even with someone sitting across from her. She doesn’t want to be here, yet she doesn’t want to return to campus after feeling rejected by the adults around her. She wants to play with her toys and go outside.
We’ve tried to make learning fun. We’ve tried to find ways to incorporate her interests into lessons. She’s resistant and even defiant. Unfortunately, she’s already been held back once in kindergarten and is way behind as we try to start third-grade materials.
Whatever solution you might believe we need to try, we’ve been there and done that.
Anne imagines that you get older and the knowledge happens. Working to learn? That’s not how she views the process.
I’ve tried short term rewards. I’ve tried charts, constant praise, cheerleading, and anything else some “experts” have promoted. Apparently, Anne should just want to learn and be insatiably curious. Nope.
She can scream. She can throw herself to the floor. She can do a lot of things, but she won’t do schoolwork.
There’s no question she needs an Individualized Education Program (IEP) because no 504 Plan would be sufficient. She needs one-on-one supports and an extremely experienced and skilled teacher.
Susan and I are exhausted. A year like the last few weeks won’t work for Anne or for us. Her struggles have turned into a battle of wills. She’s winning. I won’t give up, but I might collapse.