A colleague recently suggested my wife and I should have no computing screen time limitations for our daughters.
Should parents set screen time limits for children? Should screen time be correlated to age? Does the type of screen time matter?
“You mean no limits after finishing their schoolwork?” I asked.
“Why set that limit? I trust my kids to set their own limits.”
I’m sure that’s the ideal: trust the kids to understand homework should be completed.
Every child is different. Some can self-regulate, some cannot.
There isn’t a single right approach to screen time. Families need to discover what works for them.
The problem is, our girls never quite get their homework done, even when they turn it in as completed. We’re not ready to trust they wouldn’t spend three hours staring at screens and never do a single page of schoolwork.
Be honest. We all know plenty of adults who cannot regulate their screen habits effectively.
My colleague had a curious response: “Do you worry about their book time? How’s that different?”
That’s a faulty analogy, at best.
Screens are designed to be addictive. Moving pictures and sounds were already hard for our minds to ignore. How often have you watched a mediocre movie or television show? Yet, do you finish a mediocre book?
Tech companies have taken this impulse to watch and listen to screens further than film and television ever could.
We don’t want to ignore an email. A friend’s social media post. Breaking news. Gamification demands a response. Things beep, vibrate, flash, and otherwise demand we pay attention.
Educational games have adopted gamification of learning, using the same addictive designs other apps exploit.
Toss in ADHD and my daughters cannot focus while using a tablet or computer. For our family, tech has to come after schoolwork. The tech also comes with screen time limits.
I don’t have much self-discipline and have to limit where my screens are when I’m writing. My ADHD is nowhere near as severe as that of the girls. Yes, I write on paper a lot of the time because I’m so easily distracted. My daughters struggle even more with the temptation of screens.
Limiting screen time and setting preconditions on it isn’t the same as not allowing any tech time. I want the girls to learn to use tech wisely and with good habits.
I didn’t argue with my colleague because her slightly older and non-ADHD children probably can self-regulate. I admit to some envy, since it would be great to trust the girls that much.
In time, I hope the girls can self-regulate their screen time. They’re simply not there yet.