Last updated on November 26, 2023
It is that time of the year when I check the job market with the goal of being employed after the school year ends. The anxiety is accompanied by the self-recrimination for not obtaining a STEM degree to qualify for the jobs I know I could do, including teach in those fields.
The disappoint in myself never fades, though it should. I’m a success, by many measures, with a great wife, good (feline) kids, and a nice house. But, I always know I could do more, and could have done more, with my skills.
I lacked discipline, I suppose, along with people skills.
Given a chance, I am going to fix things… somehow.
It’s only March and we’re considering various options. But, I always worry that any choice might be the wrong choice. Analysis paralysis, absolute fear of failure.
I look back with regrets and forward with fear and anxiety. I envy people able to simply go with whatever happens.