April brings “Autism {fill in the blank}” day and month. Is it “Autism Awareness,” “Autism Acceptance,” or something else? I don’t have the time or energy to care. Each year, I rant about the month. Most people are “aware” of autism, though I question if that awareness helps anyone.
My teaching duties have taken away most of my time and energy. I have some guest appearances on other podcasts and a few interviews via email with bloggers and writers, but I haven’t done much with The Autistic Me. My limited physical and mental energies are spent; I’m doubtful I’ll manage much this month beyond teaching (and grading, and grading some more).
I’m frustrated — extremely frustrated — that the 2023–24 school year has been a black hole, devouring my time and energy while crushing my mind and body. Do my autistic traits contribute to the burnout? Probably. However, many of my academic colleagues experience the same frustrations.
I’ve explained that my career path has been a tangled mess. I want to write, and teaching seemed the best career to support writing on the side. However, I have concluded that working in technology would have provided more time and resources for my writing projects. I feel guilty for not posting more to the blog and not releasing more podcast episodes. I also feel lousy for not being functional at home after my commute from the university.
April brings the extra stress of being surrounded by autism awareness, right as the end of the semester approaches.
Survival mode wins. Academic papers must be completed. Summer course sections must be planned. The priorities I wish I had fall to the responsibilities of my job. Instead of working more on the blog or podcast, I’m returning to school tasks after sending this post to the server.
If I find any “extra time,” it belongs to my family; I owe them a lot following this school year.
So, my rant for April 2024 is that I wish I had more time to rant about autism “awareness.”