It’s the last few days of April, with finals starting in a few days. Student project teams are submitting their final reports, videos, and interactive fiction projects. As with the entire semester, I’ll be swamped with grading for the next two weeks in a mad dash to file grades on time.
Once grades are filed, I need to finalize a summer school course design, finish two conference papers, and prepare to travel to the conferences. One of the papers needs to be publication-ready fairly soon, while the other needs to be expanded significantly for submission next school year. Summers end up almost as busy (and as stressful) as the school year.
I received my annual review — which was positive — and I am grateful to be working at a respected university. My ego would love to put in five, ten, or even 15 years at a single job. I’d love to build a list of scholarly articles, a couple of monographs, and a reputation in my research areas.
However, Susan and I believe that one more year might be my physical limit. I enjoy teaching and writing scholarly articles and the department certainly needs instructors. It’s possible the job would be secure for the remainder of my career. But, I’m tired and that makes it challenging to be a good father and husband.
As readers of the blog and listeners to the podcast know, the commute is difficult. I left the house at 7:30 a.m. on Friday and arrived home a bit after 9 p.m., in desperate need of sleep. Depending on the time and direction of the drive, I might spend a bit more than two hours driving or more than three and a half hours. The physical and mental stress wears on me.
Driving leaves me impatient; I’m irritable and anxious after arriving on campus and, later, returning home. Physically, I am back to trembling and getting tense. My glucose readings are too high, my headaches too intense, and I’m not much fun to be around.
Emotionally, the realization that I need a better work-life balance feels like yet another potential failure. Yet, if I put in another year, maybe I’ll discover ways to adapt. Maybe there’s some way I can teach, write, and be less stressed. I need to do what is best for my family (and me).
I don’t want to be unemployed or underemployed again. I’m hoping the coming school year proves our assumptions incorrect. Maybe as I teach another year, I’ll find ways to make teaching and writing less time-consuming. Maybe I’ll discover the better times to commute.
The perfect solution would be locating a faculty position closer to home. Searching for work can be like a part-time job, too, but that’s something I’ll need to consider.
Overall, I survived the 2023-24 school year. Surviving was enough this year. Next year, I’d like to thrive.
Maybe I’ll even find a way to maintain a blogging and podcasting schedule in the coming months.