Last updated on November 26, 2023
When I was an undergraduate, my goal was to teach high school photography, yearbook, and newspaper. If I could undo the last 27 years of my career… I would. In a heartbeat. Accepting a job that seemed right changed my life and took me away from that path. The right path would have been to work towards clearing my teaching credential and remaining in a temporary post at the time. Accepting a full-time job teaching and working on the clear credential was logical… but the job itself was lousy.
Instead of teaching high school for the last three decades, I ended up trying to make my skills work, somehow, from job to job. But, I always long to be back at the high school, teaching photography and media arts.
The disappointment in myself doesn’t fade. I should have made that lousy (abusive) job work long enough to clear my credential and do what I wanted. At this point, I would have been racking up the years towards retirement.
Instead, I eventually went after the MA, Ph.D, and MFA all with the goal of teaching full-time. I’ve had one full-time, tenure-track post, and it was as bad as the high school job that I left. Another bully for a supervisor. What is it with bullies and education? Too many abusive K12 teachers, which saddens me. Had the first TT post worked out well, I’d have met the six-year milestone this year and be somewhat secure.
The consistent barrier to long-term success in a post is my social skills, or lack thereof. It’s the way colleagues (especially supervisors) run over me and get me to do their work. It’s many things. Too many.
All I wanted to do in life was teach and write.
At best, I’ll be writing away in my basement, hoping to make something happen.