Last updated on November 26, 2023
Neglecting The Autistic Me blog and podcast was not my intention with my return to teaching, but that’s been one of the costs. Trying to triage my schedule and to-do list has required prioritizing teaching duties — particularly grading — that require far more than 40 hours per week. Teaching, for me, is a 60-hour job (at least), as I prepare materials, read, and grade.
I invest too much time in my work and projects, failing to set aside tasks when I should. Perfectionism is unhealthy, something many of us know but cannot change.
My job consumes me, as I want to do it well and never believe I am.
Sacrificing my mind and body also affects my family. Trying to be the best teacher I can be, I end up being less as a parent and husband.
I want to believe people can change, and yet I cannot seem to let go of the perfectionism that results in paralysis and anxiety. Letting go seems easy and basic. Simply stop grading by a certain time, for example. Limit feedback to a few sentences. Stop. Set limits. That’s really the key to balancing work and life: stop working.
So, why can’t I do it? I need to. Our children and my wife should come first. Relationships should be my priority, not how many papers I grade on a deadline.
I promise myself I’ll balance work and life better, and then I don’t manage that seemingly simple goal.
If there’s a way to lose the anxiety about being the best, always, I haven’t discovered it.