Last updated on November 26, 2023
Podcast 0089, Season 5, Episode 20; 28 June 2022
Why I Need a Yard: Roses, Trees, and More
I’ve posted before that Susan and I prefer the exurbs (not even suburbs) over city life. Even before the pandemic era, we were not a couple you’d find dining out or socializing. We visited museums or galleries once or twice a year, at most. We’re quite content at home with our books, cats, and the girls.
Give us space… lots of space. In the space around our homes, we plant trees, shrubs, ornamental plants, flowers, and ground cover.
When I’m outside tending to the yard and planting beds, it’s not uncommon for someone to stop and compliment our efforts. People ask who planted our roses, who tends the lawn, and who shapes the shrubs. It’s all us, we explain. We take care of the yard.
The yard is my sanctuary.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to The Autistic Me Podcast. I am Christopher Scott Wyatt, speaking as The Autistic Me.
I want to believe this final episode of season five will also be my final COVID-19 podcast. Since March 13, 2020, the pandemic has set the constraints on daily life. As I’ve mentioned previously, being at home hasn’t been too traumatic for Susan or me. If anything, the absence of social pressures has made the pandemic less stressful than “normal” life for us.
However, I still suffer from stress and burnout. Keeping the podcast and my blogs active requires a lot of energy. Taking a few weeks off during the summer is essential, allowing me to recharge before the start of another school year. We’re wrapping up season five of The Autistic Me Podcast with a reflection on where I find some peace and contentment: my yard.
Calendars don’t reflect how long seasons are. There’s a short winter in Central Texas, thankfully. I feel trapped inside the house for only a few weeks, not the months of winter we endured in Minnesota or Pennsylvania. Once winter ends, the brief spring leads quickly into the warm months of summer.
As soon as possible each year, I’m outside to tend to my roses, other plants, shrubs, and trees. In Texas, I can be outside working in the yard by mid-February.
I recharge outside. My wife can attest that I buy too many plants and dream of even more. My dream is a personal park with various garden themes: an English rose garden, a Japanese garden with a koi pond, a colorful cottage garden.
In Minnesota and Pennsylvania, my favorite places were filled with plants.
Como Park Zoo and Conservatory in St. Paul and the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum offered needed respite from living in a city and working towards my doctoral degree. The arboretum, located in Chaska, was where I discovered a love for hostas.
Next to Carnegie Mellon University, where I taught writing classes, is the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens. Outside the city, oddly enough, is the massive Pittsburgh Botanic Garden. I paid for annual memberships to both, and visited the Phipps weekly while teaching.
If you cannot go to gardens, it helps to have space to create your own. Throughout the pandemic, having a spacious home with lots of books inside and large yard outside has helped me relax.
There has been a lot of stress in 2022. That stress becomes a battle against nutsedge, Johnson grass, and other weeds. The stress eases with slow, attentive dead heading and pruning of roses. I meditate on maintaining a thick, perfectly edged lawn that feels like a carpet under bare feet.
Our community requires a specific percentage of landscaping be grass, with regulations specifying Bermuda grass. However, Texas state law protects xeriscaping to encourage water conservation and the planting of native species.
We have ten trees, two dozen roses, and dozens of other plants. I research what grows best in our USDA zone, which is 8b, and what will survive freezing temperatures. I am trying to learn which plants are native and which are considered “established” species. We want the yard to appeal to pollinators and birds, naturally.
Bunnies live in the raised beds where tomatoes and herbs grow. Birds love the trees, the feeders, and the bath we keep fresh for them.
Our winter routine is limited to maintaining the bird feeders. There are seven to nine feeders out at any time, filled with different types of seed and, during the warmer months, hummingbird nectar.
This winter, I needed the birds.
The year began strangely. I submitted my monthly column via email, as I had done since 2006. Almost a week later, I received an email from the new editorial director stating that the submission surprised her. After all, she thought she had emailed me to say the magazine was going in a new direction.
It wasn’t a significant freelance gig, but the column provided a nice sense of stability. The monthly byline let me claim to be a professional writer.
At least the birds were always waiting for me, Susan, and the girls.
In January, my mother-in-law’s health quickly declined. Susan made plans to fly to California. Sadly, Susan’s mother died of cancer.
While Susan was in California, the girls and I planted four roses: a pair of purple tea roses and two “sunburst” roses that have orange flowers with red edges. The girls said the purple flowers reminded them of Grandma.
To make solo-parenting more exciting, I ended up driving myself and the girls to the nearest ER because I could barely move. The girls joined me in the room for most of a day and late into the night. While I was being treated for a kidney stone, the girls were busy on my phone texting Mommy updates.
February is pleasant in Central Texas. I rested in a lawn chair while the girls filled the bird feeders, watered the plants, and ran about the yard.
Susan made another trip to California at the start of June. This time, the girls joined her to visit family and see some national parks.
I spent two hours or more outside tending to the yard and planting beds each day for most of the first week.
Yet again, there was an emergency while Susan was away. This time, one of our beloved cats aggravated a previous injury to her tail. I don’t know what happened and felt horrible that I couldn’t quickly get her into my arms and medicated.
It was five long days before I finally managed to get the cat to a pet ER. We waited more than two hours until being told there was little chance of seeing a doctor that day. Thankfully, her regular vet agreed to see us at the end of the day.
The vet and technician medicated the cat, drew lab samples, and checked her tail. I was informed our little baby needed surgery. It was scheduled for a week later, the soonest opening available.
With the cat medicated and wearing a cone, I resumed spending hours outside. I mowed the lawns, dead headed roses again, and did everything I could to remain calm… but I was a nervous wreck.
Outside I don’t forget my worries. I don’t completely relax. But, I feel better and I feel like there’s hope for a better future. As I worked outside, I could see the cat watching me and the birds from her favorite window.
I made mistakes those days, waiting for Susan and the girls to return. I overwatered two rose of Sharon shrubs, putting them into shock. A brutal heatwave didn’t help the plants. Other stressors kept stacking up, leading me to pull a lot of weeds.
Minor things felt like catastrophes. Our home water filtration system had two parts fail. Susan’s weather station stopped working properly.
I took walks around the neighborhood, despite the triple-digit heat and humidity. And afterwards I’d go back to pulling whatever weeds I could find.
Though I didn’t handle all the stress well, I was better off with the yard work. I watched the bunnies as they watched me. I kept the birds fed and happy. I cleared the raised garden beds of weeds and overgrowth.
The family is all together again. The kitty is recovering from surgery. I need to catch my breath and pause.
Caring for the yard, I get my 10,000 daily steps. I get sunlight, which helps my mood and helps me sleep. I am healthier and significantly less anxious, if not anxiety-free.
During my pause from podcasting, I will be working on season six. I’ll be recording interviews and editing audio, but I won’t let myself be pressured to have two or three shows per month. Instead, I’ll be outside as much as possible, taking care of myself by taking care of the plants.
I look forward to season six of The Autistic Me Podcast and hope you join me for some great discussions about Neurodiversity.
I am Christopher Scott Wyatt. Thank you for listening to the podcast, reading the blog, and following The Autistic Me on social me.
Have a great summer, doing whatever brings you peace and joy.
The Autistic Me
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