Last updated on November 26, 2023
The chessboard at Morro Bay, California, is near some of my favorite places to sit and relax. When I took the girls to California, the oldest asked me to teach her chess after seeing that board. She wasn’t quite ready, but I intended to keep my word. As an autistic parent, I want to share calm, quiet activities with our children.
Then, a small strip mall near Columbiana, Ohio, installed a similar chessboard and some other oversized games. She posed for pictures with the Ohio chessboard, which was important to her.
Now that she is ready, I am teaching her chess. Teaching the oldest chess connects me to my childhood and lets me share something I love with her.
Spending time with our daughters is my favorite way to spend a few hours. It can be as simple as watching a movie together or sitting around reading books silently. Or, we can be building robots out of LEGOs. I love to sit outside and watch them ride their bikes (I’ll sit with a book or my iPad and read, looking up as they speed past our driveway).
When we chose to become parents, we agreed to be there for our children. When our path changed to adoption, we didn’t change how we planned to be available to our children. I have worried that being an autistic parent would prevent me from being available, and sometimes it does.
Parenting has taught me more than any book or class has. I have learned more about myself and my wife as we raise our daughters. The four of us are learning new things every day.
I waited eagerly for the girls to show an interest in playing board games, cards, and dominoes. Then, I discovered that simply because children might want to play didn’t mean they could play games. It turns out, four-year-olds don’t have the ability to sit through a complete game of Chutes and Ladders. (I don’t believe most adults can sit through Chutes and Ladders. It’s an annoying game of chance.) Candyland? Only slightly less aggravating.
Now, however, we can play checkers. Both girls understand the basics and they can play together, too. They are starting to play with board games they amassed over the last four Christmases and various birthdays.
During the winter break, I didn’t prepare any podcasts or post many new blog entries because the girls were home from school. They were not a distraction – I’d rather spend those hours with them, playing and learning together.
No, it isn’t good social media practice to take weeks off from posting. I’ve read that people expect three or four new posts, podcasts, or videos a week from “serious” social media creators. I’m never going to be that focused on developing an audience for the blog or podcast.
My family matters more to me than anything.
Maybe I should be more serious about marketing myself as a brand, but I love being Daddy and need to work around that role.